Soon after my last post, I got a call for a job interview! I completely misheard on the phone and showed up that afternoon (Tuesday). Turned out she said to be there THURSDAY, not TODAY (Tuesday) like I had heard. So for a good portion of Tuesday I was honestly freaking out. Interviews cause me a lot of anxiety. And then add on the embarrassment of being 2 DAYS early! Yikes!

Wednesday afternoon I got another call from a different place to interview at on Monday.

But yesterday I had my first job interview in almost 3 years. All morning I was sick to my stomach. The anxiety was fierce! I was scared to go back there after showing up on Tuesday. I was sure that probably completely disqualified me for the position. Listening skills are very much required.

I showed up 15 minutes early, which is typical for me. For both interviews and once hired. The interview before me was completed so we were able to start almost right away.

Of course once we started I was comfortable and able to be more confident in myself. But getting myself to that point was not easy.

At the end I was told she’d let me know. But she also threw in “I think you did VERY well”. I think so too!

I walked out the doors at the time I was supposed to start interviewing. I also walked out with more confidence than what I walked in with.

Once it was all over, I couldn’t help but question why I was so scared all day. It seemed so silly. I have a lot of experience, not at this particular place, but at places like it.

I just hope that when the time comes for my next interview, I can be confident the entire time leading up to it, as well as during.


New Adventures Await!

Things have been a bit crazy around here lately! My husband starts a new job tomorrow, which is in itself – great. The last place he worked was not a good place. They treated him horribly. So his job search is over.

I on the other hand, am searching for a job. The job change means a decrease in pay. I have to go back to work to help make up the difference. The thought of that alone scares me a bit. I haven’t worked outside of the home in almost a year. I didn’t need to, we were getting by okay. But now… now it’s different. Now I need a job to bring in something at least.

Once upon a time, I thought making the necklaces I was making would help us out.  Though that didn’t last long. I had a site set up on Etsy, and aside from friends and family – nobody else bought any.  Eventually I let the listings expire and never renewed them. Instead I’ve kept them and occasionally use them for gifts.

I’d like to re-list them now though. Because really, we need the money more than we need the necklaces.

So maybe, just maybe… I’ll re-open that Etsy shop and try selling again.

Little bit of gain, little bit of loss

The diet is slow going, which discourages me some. But I have to admit, I “cheat” more than I should. Popcorn is a MAJOR weakness of mine… buttery, salty popcorn.  But I’ve moved away from microwave popcorn at least. Now its air popped.  And I top it with real butter and salt…

At one point I re-gained 2lbs. I’m down 8.5lbs from the start weight. For me, it seems like not enough – until I remember the popcorn I’ve eaten. Or the pizza. Or something else, instead of salads.  I just can’t go as hard-core this time. Most of the food I cook is food I enjoy. Its finding the right portion that is taking more importance than the deprivation of food I love.  The first (and last) time I really stuck with a diet, I REALLY stuck to it. I felt deprived of food. Because all I ate, all day and night, when hungry – was chef’s salads. But honestly it helped that I was cooking food for the family that I honestly didn’t care for. They did, but I didn’t.

I can’t see myself doing that again. I just can’t.  But it’s okay. The weight is coming off, slower this time. And any loss in weight is a good thing. For me, it is very good.

Daily Prompt: Say Your Name

First off… I’m using a different  computer than normal to write this.. please forgive me of any horrendous errors :)

Today’s daily prompt is:

Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

Photographers, show us  YOU. 

My first name is Allison. It means noble kind; of the noble sort. However that is not why I have the name I do.  One of my great grandmother’s maiden name was Allis. I was named for her, with the added “on” at the end.

When I was younger, I wished I had a different name. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure it was Elizabeth that I had wished my parents had named me. I outgrew that though, and am happy to say I wouldn’t change my name if given the chance.

Nearly everyone calls me Allee. But I still wouldn’t make it my legal first name. Allison is a name I’m proud to have.


I miss you!

Corey and "his" tree

Corey and “his” tree

I miss you today. I missed you yesterday. I’ll miss you tomorrow.  Fact is I haven’t stopped missing you in nearly 15 years since you died – and I never will stop.

You were the one I could go to with anything. You were always there for me. You kept me safe. You helped me through so many things. I wish you were here to help me through more. I wish my kids could know you. Not just what they’ve been told, but YOU.

You were more than just a cousin. You were my best friend. My big brother.  And then, you were gone. It didn’t seem fair then, and it still doesn’t seem fair now.  It isn’t fair. You were too young. You could have lived for so many more years. A tragedy took you too soon. You’d escaped death before; I wish you could have escaped it again. But I know there must have been a reason that you couldn’t stay with us.

It doesn’t change how much I miss you though…

He was a Marine before his death

He was a Marine before his death

Stormy Days Ahead

Let me start off with how much I love my kids. I love them to the moon and back and more. They are my everything.

There. Now let me say – I hate that the WHOLE weekend it’s going to rain.  Not just ANY weekend – a LONG HOLIDAY weekend. Three days, and it’s supposed to rain the entire time. And not just a sprinkle here and there all weekend… Thunderstorms ALL.WEEKEND.LONG

My kids need to be outside at least part of the time, otherwise we go crazy. They need the sun, the air, and I need sanity breaks.  I need even just a few minutes of quiet.  Maybe that makes me selfish. Since the end of August almost every week they’ve been in school. School will be out soon for summer. But one weekend of rain has me worrying about what that’s going to mean once school is out. What will we do when it’s too crappy out to go out to play? When mom doesn’t get her sanity breaks?

I know we’ll find our new “groove” again, we always do. But for now, it’s actually kind of scary…

So very tired!

I’ve been up since 2:30 am with my 5 year old. I’m exhausted, and so is she. She had a bad dream and neither of us was really able to get back to sleep. She did lie down and watched Curious George after I realized there was no chance of me getting her back to sleep with cuddles.  Its times like these I really miss our breast feeding.  That “bag of tricks” always worked. If she had nummies after waking up like that, she could go back to sleep.  Cuddling is hit or miss. But the nummies? That worked far better (with few exceptions – like a major milestone was about to be reached).

If she can’t go right back to sleep – that generally means I’m up no matter what. She could fall asleep after a half hour or an hour tops and I’d be stuck awake. Thankfully it doesn’t happen that often. It seems to especially happen on mornings we all need to be up early, like today. We didn’t need to be up at 2:30 though. I would have happily slept until my alarm was set to go off at 5:15, she didn’t need to be up until 6.

I don’t know if a nap is in my future today, but I can hope. It was a “late night” for me, and a way too early morning for both of us!

She did try to sleep, just wasn't successful for very long

She did try to sleep, just wasn’t successful for very long